Emotional Thai Life Insurance Commercial

Hi, I’m Sarah. I’m an only child. I’m 14 going on15 and currently I hate my living situation. I find myself not going outside my yard for weeks at a time, the exception only being the adult Muay Thai class where socialization is found to be impossible due to the over 20 ages of the other students. Otherwise, due to homeschooling, my life consists of that schooling and whatever I can do to entertain myself in front of a screen. One friend, who is talked to over the phone and never comes over, no clubs, no other sports, no chores, no life. And why? My Mother. Due to her, what I believe to be a mixture of the fear to be alone, the fear of me growing up, getting hurt, leaving her, or becoming wild has gotten her to chain me down as if I were a pet.

1. She will never let me make my own decisions, to have me make mistakes and learn from them, making stupid rules that she has made from her own mistakes and putting them on me. Because of which I can’t dye, cut or iron my hair in any way, cannot use eye contacts ,wear certain jewelry or make up, and just now am allowed, due to forcing her, to shave my legs. Other things that do not make sense include watching shows, playing games, or watching or befriending people that are “far from God,” saying that I will drift and take bad habits from them, especially when it comes to friends, even girls, over 16 years of age, “who aren’t virgins and talk about sex all the time and you dont need to hear that.”

2. I must think about her at all times and serve her. Because she works nights and sleeps during the day, I have to come to her when she calls me and get her whatever she wants, food and drink, and when she has to wake up to go to work, wake her up with hot coffee, a meal, and help her with applying jewelry, cleaning glasses, powdering shoes, etc. I can’t seem to go out during the day because my Dad is at work, and even bicycling around the neighborhood alone is not allowed because it “stresses her.” Even Dad and I can’t go out on our own for fun such as dinner or a trip to the arcade, because if we ask her to go, she says no because it’s not what she wants to do, and if we say we’ll go without her then “we never want to do anything with her.” I can’t even be out very often without her because I have to “take care” of my own mother.

3. She gets her way by bossing us around and throwing tantrums when she doesn’t get her way. We can watch whatever movie she picks on movie nights, if we don’t listen to her 3-hour talks about how much she hates people or work, especially when it’s 3am and we need sleep, then we “never want to listen to her or talk to her.” It’s always about her, she’s never wrong, it’s always us. If we talk to her about something and it gets her upset, she cries, making herself ill with headaches and she blames us for her terrible sick days.

4. Because of all of this I’ve found myself trapped in my own house without being able to live a normal life. I can’t have friends over because, even if they don’t care, Mom says the house is too messy, she sleeps all day so she cant help me clean, and if I do it myself I always manage to do it wrong. I can’t even be honest to her about how I feel because it’s always wrong, so I laugh to myself when she says she knows me. She insults me saying I was smarter at the age of 7, and under her control, than I am now.And at the very idea of change, we suddenly “hate her” in some way, she makes herself ill and blames us all over again. She is almost always mad at both me and Dad for something. We’re both under so much pressure just to please her, which seems to be impossible.

She’s completely unreasonable and I’m starting to think, due to my grandmother’s same problems, or so that’s what my aunt tells me, that she has a serious mental problem. And me living this way needs help in some way from a therapist, counselor, doctor, or other means of letting my problems be known, so maybe they can be fixed and I won’t be afraid of my Mother anymore. If things don’t change soon, I just might snap.